Time Stamped Show Notes
[0:01] Nick grew up in a poor household and was often mocked by other kids in school. They only had one family vacation and his parent’s way of saving money was through a coin jar. Nick started working at a restaurant at the age of 14 but he spent his money as fast as he could earn it in the hope of fitting in. When he met Angela they opened a joint account to help with the bills. They both contribute to this joint account. Aside from this they each have their own separate accounts. Nick says that having another person as a bit of accountability has helped build savings in their joint account.
Even now Nick still feels the need to spend to fit in. His childhood upbringing with regard to scarcity of money manifests in his daily life to date. When there is anything that is stressful or confrontational, Nick tries to avoid it. Nick’s attitude towards money is if they have money, they should spend it and if they don’t have money they should not do anything. Money in his individual account is spent fairly quickly as opposed to their joint account where their savings are growing. Angela says that Nick is not good with communication unlike her. Most of the time she forces conversations that she feels need to be discussed much to Nick’s chagrin.
[4:11] Angela’s mother and step-father had poor communications when it came to money. Her step-father would often buy equipment or gears for his hobby and ultimately put financial stress on the family budget. This caused a lot of tension between them. His spending led to the refinancing of their home which her mother is still paying for.
Her mum was much more frugal with her money but she always caved to the pressure of consumerism. She treated Angela and her siblings to good deals, some they could not afford. Things would later come down to the wire after some months. Due to all these, Angela feels that she is hyper aware of the value in things. She often questions whether something is worth the money. She admits that she is not good at saving or creating a plan save.
[5:11] As an adult, Angela, was paid in cash and often spent a little extra on fun things. She would not pay attention to her bank account hence resulting in overdraft fees and missed payments. Once she realized how much this cost her, she started auto paying her bills. She then started keeping her account at a set amount in order to pay the bills. Angela started saving money only to splurge with it through traveling.
Throughout that journey, Angela did not pick up any long term saving habits. She did not have any dialogue with herself about money. This was because it was easy for her to pick up an extra shift to make the extra money she needed. Their joint account is for mutual bills and groceries and they are accountable to each thus giving them equal control. Large amounts of living debt like Nick’s student loan debt and tuition is scary to Angela since it’s fairly new to both of them.
[8:53] Angela changed jobs and her current job is not paying as much as her previous. Her budget is therefore tighter. Fortunately outside their regular utilities they don’t have a lot of bills. Angela admits that she does not have any savings.
[10:05] With regard to Nick’s debt, $20,000 will be taken out in the course of two years through student loans. Out of his pocket he has to pay $ 2,500 every three months. Nick says he has some money in funds available for education to last him. He has $6,000 and tuition reimbursements he was trying to put back to the principal on the loans to get them down to $14,000 by the time he finishes in two years. According to Nick, it is a manageable amount of debt. Nick’s hourly wage is $16 an hour but as soon as he finishes nursing school, this jumps up to $28. Student loans is not the worst kind of debt because of the interest rate.
[13:04] Angela and Nick have both communicated about their earlier relationships with money. Nick says that he was surprised Angela is also vulnerable. What stresses Angela with regard to money between the two of them is that sometimes Nick forgets to pay a bill or misplaces something which results to them paying a fee or paying the bill twice. Nick incurred $1,200 of medical bills because he did not pay all of them. He also signed up for some classes which he later did not attend but they had still had to pay for the classes. This infuriates Angela. Nick missed the class drop day by two days. Angela says that Nick is forgetful and gets distracted and does not have a schedule of things.
[19:54] Nick’s usually feels ashamed, anxious, full of contempt and a feeling of not being enough. His principle in life is, if money is there, spend it and if it’s not there, don’t. This coincides with his quality of being full of contempt. Angela on the other hand likes to use the phrase, “It’s just money.” Her grandmother used to say, “If it’s a problem that money can solve, then it’s not a real problem. There are far more important things than money.”
[24:27] There are six basic human needs and everyone has a need to fulfill all of them. The needs are certainty, uncertainty, love or connection, significance, growth and contribution. People however prioritize them differently. Certainty is a need to able to predict things and security. Uncertainty is variety and being risk tolerant. Love refers to being in a relationship where there is deep care for each other while connection refers to indulging with people. Significance is the need for recognition. Growth is the focus on growing as a person through different stages of life. Contribution is giving back and helping others.
The 5 Money Personalities is a book by Scott and Bethany Palmer. The first money personality is the spender who likes to spend money or buy gifts for other people. Basically, they spend money while they earn. The second money personality is the saver who earns a dime and wants to save all that dime without spending any amount. The third money personality are the risk takers who are risk tolerant and like investing their money all the time. The fourth money personality is the security seeker. These are people who want to make sure that everything is in line before they make any decision. The last personality is the flyer. A flyer does not want to deal with money and does not care too much. He prefers other people to do it for him.
Some people prefer certainty and love and connection when it comes to human needs. When it comes to personalities most people prefer security seeker and spender. A security seeker would want certainty first, the need to feel stable and okay, whilst the one chooses love and connection as a need. A spending personality matches well with love and connection. This is because they buy gifts for other people thereby seeking a connection with such people.
The Heart of Money– Deborah Price
The 5 Money Personalities: Speaking the Same Love and Money Language – Scott & Bethany Palmer